In our 2026 world, a world beset with problems and issues that seem overwhelming and perhaps unsolvable it is easy to become disheartened and fearful - I know, because I am increasingly so. Whatever newspaper you read or whatever your core beliefs or principles, whether you are "left" or "right" in your politics, whether you are man or woman, old or young, gay or straight, or whatever your colour or creed the world's problems might appear intractable - and getting worse; in short, the four horsemen of the apocalypse seem to be riding roughshod over us. An escalating climate crisis threatens to end all life on earth; the unstoppable development of AI has the potential to harm civilisation in ways we are yet to understand; war, promoted and sustained by powerful amoral demagogues in Washington, Moscow and Jerusalem all driven by animus and the desire for power and riches has now become almost the new normal; hate rhetoric, prejudice, discrimination and inequality are now endemic in society, in the national press, on social media and fall from the lips of politicians of once great nations who should know better. Looking for good news, it now seems to me is an increasingly fruitless activity.
And on top of these great global issues we all strive to live out our little lives and somehow survive, make the best of the hand of cards we have been dealt, and hope for a better future for our children and grandchildren. It is daunting - sometimes overwhelmingly so.
Faced with all this, I have struggled at a personal level in the last few weeks. A reoccurrence of my debilitating back problems and painful sciatica has meant that I have been severely limited in what I can do physically around the house and this while my lovely wife of 57 years, Patricia, has been slowly recovering from surgery. It has been a tough few weeks for us both and although we are now, hopefully, on the upturn we have both, I think, come to realise how very vulnerable one can easily become. Of course, we are lucky, we have a roof over our heads and sufficient money to potter along nicely - but were that not so, I tremble to think how easily we might have slipped through the cracks and become dependent upon "the state" or other agencies; it has all made me think about those less fortunate than Pat and me. How difficult must be the path that so many tread whether they are in the ruins of war torn Gaza, or trying to survive famine in sub Sahara Africa, or waiting for the next drone attack in Ukraine, or clinging to life amidst the flooded ruins of climate disaster hit Nepal, or, indeed, in the mean streets of our own, often crumbling, cities where access to public services, diminishing social safety nets, and lack of decent affordable housing ensure that hundreds of thousand - perhaps millions - wonder where the next meal or warm bed is coming from. Both globally and individually we all hang onto the web of life, clinging to the thinnest of gossamer threads; for many that thread breaks far too easily and through no fault of their own. Despite the great wealth and wonderful "cleverness" of our modern world our personal world and lives as individuals and as members of societies, nations and all humanity can so very easily come crashing down. In these turbulent times nothing is a given; tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Vita Sackville-West was an aristocrat, a poet, a novelist, a journalist and a gardener born in 1892 into great wealth and London's high society. She died in 1962, at Sissinghurst in Kent where she and her husband Harold Nicolson had, over many years, laboured long and hard to create one of the world's great gardens. She was friends with the great and good of English society and a member of the famous intellectual group of the late 19th and early 20th centuries known as the Bloomsbury Set: amongst that group were the author Virginia Woolf, the great economist John Maynard Keynes, the world renowned philosopher AJ Ayer, the famous author E.M. Forster, the biographer Lytton Strachey and artists such as Vanessa Bell, Duncan Grant and Roger Fry; members of the Bloomsbury Set were, without doubt, the greatest minds of the age and the intellectual heartbeat of the nation.
Vita's husband, Sir Harold Nicolson, was a high flying diplomat, politician an author, a publisher, and a gardener - a quiet man, reserved perhaps, but a husband who allowed and encouraged his talented and mercurial wife to fulfil her dreams and destiny; to coin a modern phrase he was without fuss or fame "the wind beneath her wings". They married in 1913 in one of the society weddings of the year and he was with her when she died quietly at her beloved Sissinghurst Castle in 1962.
In short, they were (and are) one of the great families of England, inextricably linked with the nation's history. Two of my treasured and well thumbed books that sit here in my office are written by their grandson Adam Nicolson who was born and raised at Sissinghurst: "When God Spoke English" tells the tale of the writing of the King James Bible and "The Mighty Dead" is a magical journey of discovery about the ancient world of Homer. They are both books that should be read if one is to understand both English history and have a context for the ancient world.
But there is another side to the Nicolson/Sackville-West marriage, which makes it unusual and very special. Vita, throughout her life, had a succession of lesbian lovers - including some of the great names of English history and society and Harold, too, had a number of affairs with other men. Although they were guarded about their relationships in the public sphere (for this was a time when when homosexual/lesbian relationships and acts were both frowned upon and illegal) their lifestyle and relationships were very much an open secret. It was, too, an open secret between the two of them; they each tolerated, forgave and understood each other's lifestyle, needs, and predilections. Like all marriages and, indeed, all lives they knew that there had to be give and take, tolerance of the other's point of view, an understanding of the greater good, an awareness of another human's beliefs and frailties if things are going to succeed and benefit all; I think it's called empathy!
And as I write that last sentence I can only conclude that in these bleak times when the world and all humanity is feeling vulnerable, when great ills have the potential to bring our world to a shuddering halt it is is absolutely vital that all of us - each in our own little world - and as nations, creeds, colours, or beliefs show the same understanding and tolerance, the same wisdom and empathy. It is incumbent on those who lead nations - in any capacity - and certainly in the great power houses of the world: Washington, Moscow, London, Paris, Beijing, Berlin - and yes, Jerusalam - take a hard look at themselves and what their actions mean. For if they do not then the world and our little lives will become a whole lot bleaker and from which none of us might survive; for as individuals or a humans as a whole tomorrow is not guaranteed.
So, what do the words of wisdom on my lap top screen say, these things that have, in a small way, sustained me in recent difficult weeks? What do I see first each morning when I boot up my lap top and wince at my back pain and as my lovely wife, Patricia, slowly, and sometimes distressingly recovers from her surgery? They are two small quotes, simple truths, not great intellectual pearls of wisdom but born simply out of the understanding and empathy that Vita and Harold grasped if they were to live their lives together - for the greater good; they are, in my view undeniable, understandable, and above all true and filled with huge empathy.
Vita, although born to wealth and privilege, had a life filled with many personal sorrows and regrets: even those born with a "silver spoon in their mouth" are not free from the basic fears, failings and facts of life that we of lesser stature are; we are all human and to be human is to live with failings, loss, missed opportunities and regret. "Life is just a bowl of cherries" sang Julie Garland seventy years ago - she was wrong; it has its ups and downs, its joys and its sadnesses and Vita Sackville-West, like the rest of us knew that through her own experiences of life. So what did Vita's life experiences tell her and us and why is it on my lap top each morning when I log on. Vita said: "Small pleasures must correct great tragedies". She was not wrong; amid the distress, the sorrows, the fears, the disappointments and the chaos of what is often everyday life it is to the small pleasures, the small acts of kindness, the small attainable goals, the small glimpses that things will get better, the unconditional love and the heart warming smile that keep us grounded, stable, upright, hopeful, afloat, in the face of the storms that life throws at us. And what did her loving husband Harold say? Harold, ever the realist in the face of Vita's often extravagant and sometimes wayward life style, was perhaps more prosaic, based in the world as it is not as he might want it to be. He sagely tells me each morning as my lap top lights up: "The great secret of a successful life and marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters". Good advice, I think, for all of us, be we humble or high.
Vita Sackville-West was a woman of great intellect and creative drive which underpinned and made possible her exquisite poetry and prose; it was also inextricably part of the relationships she made and the life that she led; in modern day parlance, she liked to live life on the edge, often challenging or breaking society's mores, values and expectations. Her husband, Harold, was a pragmatist, a man steeped in the inherent caution required to be a successful diplomat, he was the rock upon which their strange "open marriage" was built and remained steadfast for half a century. Together these qualities enabled the pair to not to only create and sustain a successful, if unusual, marriage but to create Sissinghurst, one of the world's very great gardens which is still today enjoyed by thousands of visitors each year; a testament to their enduring love and vision for the future. And in doing so perhaps making real their mutual belief in "small pleasures" and in not treating "incidents" as "disasters" but relegating "disasters" to mere "incidents".
Wise words indeed - and words that we all, whatever our creed or colour, our hopes or our fears, our needs or our beliefs need to think about. And that is why their words look back at me each morning and as I write this piece. Thank you Vita and Harold for keeping me going through some tough weeks.
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